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Thursday, September 29, 2011

Hari yang sayu

Agaknya aku ni sensetif sangat.
Macam mana tah nak bagi emosi aku stabil.
Aku rasa tak gembira.
Aku rasa tak selamat.

Aku rasa aku bahagia.
Tapi perasaan bahagia itu tak berpanjangan.

Cubalah jangan layan sangat perasaan tu.
Buat-buat sibuk.
Tengok cerita kelakar ke.
Aku pun dah lama tak tengok wayang.
Nak tengok wayang dengan siapa pun aku tak tahu.
Kadang-kadang aku rasa aku sorang-sorang je dalam dunia ni

"Kawan lama" aku telefon tanya khabar
Minta diberi peluang
Aku senyap je
Tak ada perasaan langsung

"kawan baru" aku pulak
Tak secure aku dibuatnya

Tak apalah..
Sabar jelah selagi mampu sabar.





Friday, September 23, 2011

adegan satu malaysia


Aku dah lama nak cerita,  perihal adegan yangku lihat ini sewaktu mengunjungi hospital untuk rawatan susulan. Pada 20hb yang lalu, seperti biasa aku akan parking kereta di bahagian bawah bukit berhampiran hospital. Kawasan itu sahaja yang ada parking dan mudah untuk aku yang amateur ni. Kemudian aku akan menaiki shuttle ke hospital. Bagus hospital berkenaan kerana menyediakan kemudahan shuttle, memandangkan tempat parking memang jauh dari bangunan hospital. Takdela mengah pakcik makcik menaiki bukit, dahla sakit, pengsan pulak kang,, termasuk lah aku yang muda dan malas nak berjalan ni. huhu

Setelah selesai jumpa doktor, memang aku akan menaiki shuttle semula untuk ke tempat parking. Kebetulan yang duduk di sebelah aku ialah makcik berbangsa cina (aku panggil dia auntie). Manakala kerusi barisan hadapan aku diduduki oleh akak misi (bangsa melayu) yang mengendong anaknya diikuti oleh makcik berbangsa india dan disebelahnya, wanita dewasa berbangsa cina. Shuttel itu memang penuh dan sedikit panas. Bayi kepunyaan akak misi ni mula menangis dan merengek mungkin kerana panas dan tidak selesa. akak misi mula resah, kerana anaknya menyebabkan gangguan bising di dalam shuttle yang dipenuhi "orang sakit berlainan bangsa".

Terus auntie sebelah aku cuba menenangkan baby itu dan bermain dengannya.. Baby itu senyap sekejap. Cubaan berjaya, tapi kemudian dia masih menangis lagi dengan kuat, makcik india sebelah akak misi tu pula yang cuba bercakap dengan baby tu supaya dia selesa dan senyap.. kemudian barulah aku yang bercakap ngan baby tu, sambil menayangkan kunci kereta aku kepadanya.. aku goyang-goyangkan kunci kereta aku tu bagi berbunyi agar baby tadi tertarik dan nak main ngan kunci kereta aku tu. Memang baby tu nak sambar kunci kereta aku tu, tapi aku tak bagilah, nanti dia makan lak, benda alah tu tajam, luka kang macam mana... menangis melalak lalak lah baby tu bila tak dapat.. kitorang punya gelabah..tiga3 bercakap dan cuba bermain ngan baby tu supaya dia berhenti menangis.. Akak misi tu pula pujuk-pujuk anaknya sambil berkata "dah nak sampai dah, dah nak sampai dah ni.. jap ye sayang.."

Apabila dah sampai ke tempat yang dituju semua turun dan senyum antara satu sama lain. Masing-masing memberi laluan kepada makcik yang uzur dulu diikuti akak misi tadi.. Bila aku fikirkan adegan tadi, aku mula sedar bahawa perpaduan yang dibina selama 54 tahun negara merdeka bukan sesuatu perkara yang mudah. Bangganya aku tadi melihat kemesraan mereka di dalam shuttle walaupun tidak mengenali antara satu sama lain. Perpaduan antara kaum di negara kita tidaklah seburuk yang disangka dan diwar-warkan pihak lain. Bila terjadi sesuatu, seperti tadi, kami sama-sama bekerjasama agar matlamat membuat baby tadi selesa dan tidak menangis tercapai..Jadi pentingnya menghargai perpaduan yang telah dibina dengan susah payah ini. Betapa susah mengurangkan syak wasangka antara kaum dan memelihara ikatan yang dah terjalin selepas merdeka sehingga kini. Semua kaum tahu sensitiviti masyarakat islam dan begitu juga sebaliknya. 


Thursday, September 15, 2011

stupid.


kadang-kadang aku rasa diri aku ni sangat bodoh.
kenape nak tunggu macam dungu.
kenape nak ikut cakap kau.
kenape aku kene pleased kan kau
sedangkan kau tak pleased kan aku pon
ok..fine mmg ada.
tapi selalunya aku bkn kau.

aku bercakap dengan diri aku yang satu lagi
"stop! cukuplah tu"
"U don't want to do this anymore"


song of the day...Adele "Set fire to the rain"

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Cold to the feet



Hari ini aku mandi lewat petang. Pukul 6.40 petang. Aku tengok baldi dalam bilik air berisi air..then  aku sentuh airnye. Mak aihh..sejuk giler... Tapi aku gagahkan juga, sbb pagi tadi aku bgn tk mandi lagi. [Alasan : Sejuk gak].




Maka petang ini, aku kena mandi gak. huhu. apabila air tu sampai je ke kulit aku, badan aku mula mengigil. aku simbah lagi air. Lagi bertambah teruk aku punya gigil, sampai berketap gigi. Ini tak boleh jadi.. Aku sabun cepat2 dan bersiram ala cowboy.




Kemudian aku capai tuala, [tak cukup tebal] aku capai selimut aku tu balut badan aku cepat2.. baru la rasa selesa.. menggigil aku ni kurang..




Gila, napelah aku ni..memang cuaca sejuk skit hari ni, tapi selalu tk macam ni.
Aku memang sensitip sejuk.




P/s: Camana aku nak pergi Jepun ni.. Cameron Highlands pun aku tk thn sejuknya..

Monday, September 5, 2011

" i dont believe in god"

Senangnya berkata "i dont believe in god". Puak atheist atau tidak percaya kepada kewujudan tuhan, atau tidak mengaku adanya pencipta yang mencipta manusia..Golongan ini (atheist) ini percaya bahawa manusia terjadi melalui evolusi. ????what the hell man. hmm nak dijadikan cerita, adala sekali aku terchatting ngan seoarang atheist. (chatting ialah aktiviti masa lapang aku haha)

aku: what is ur race? 
Dia: Chinese Indian
Aku: owh..u were  mix
Dia: hehe yes
Aku: What is ur belief then?
Dia: none huhu
Aku: are u atheist?
Dia: any prob wit that?
Aku:.no at all (aku tipu sbb nk tau nape dia atheist)
Dia: good.. still friends?
Aku: sure. do u mind if i ask any question about that
Dia: ok... 
Aku:why didnt u  believe in god?
Dia: simple, i dont believe god exist.
Aku: God does exist
Dia:oh yeah, prove it to me
Aku: ...(blur ...apa aku nk ckp ni?)
Dia..im waiting..

Puas aku google nk carik bhn nk debat ngan dia. But in the end, were dont frens anymore..haha Tapi bagus juga, disebabkan dia aku cari maklumat untuk kukuhkan pengetahuan dan iman aku ni.. (YA Allah, jangan lah kau tarik kepercayaan aku terhadap engkau)

Aku terjumpa artikel menarik penerangan tentang kewujudan tuhan. Enjoy ur reading!


Why Science Fails to Explain God

At an educational institution


‘Let me explain the problem science has with God’
The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand. ‘You are a Muslim, aren’t you son?’
‘Yes sir.’
‘So you believe in God?’
‘Absolutely’
‘Is God good?’
‘Sure! God’s good’
‘Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?’
‘Yes’
The professor grins knowingly and considers for a moment.
‘Here’s one for you, lets say there is a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it, would you help them? Would you try?’
‘Yes sir, I would’
‘So you’re good…!’
‘I wouldn’t say that.’
‘Why not say that? You would help a sick and maimed person if you could…. in fact most of us would if we could..God doesn’t.’
[No answer]
‘He doesn’t, does he? My brother was a Muslim who died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. How is God good? Hmmmm? Can you answer that one?’
[No answer]
The elderly man is sympathetic.
‘No you can’t, can you?’ He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. In philosophy, you have to go easy with the new ones.
‘Lets start again fella, is God good?’
‘Err…Yes’
‘is Satan good?’
‘No’
‘Where does Satan come from?’
The student falters. ‘From…God’
‘That’s right, God made Satan didn’t he?’ The elderly man runs his bony fingers through his thinning hair and turns to the smirking student audience.
‘I think we’re going to have fun this semester ladies and gentlemen’ He turns back to the Muslim.
‘Tell me son, is there evil in this world?’
‘Yes sir.’
‘Evil is everywhere, isn’t it? Did God make everything?’
‘Yes’
‘Who created evil’
[No answer]
‘Is there sickness in this world? Immortality? Hatred? Ugliness? All the terrible things, do they exist in this world?’
The student squirms on his feet. ‘Yes’
‘Who created them?’
‘No answer’
The professor suddenly shouts at his student.
‘WHO CREATED THEM? TELL ME, PLEASE!’
The professor closes in for the kill and climbs into the Muslims face. In a still small voice he says ‘God created all evil, didn’t he son?’
[No answer]
The student tries to hold the steady experienced gaze and fails. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace the front of the classroom like an aging panther. The class is mesmerised.
‘Tell me’ he continues, ‘How is it that this God is good if he created all evil throughout all time?’
The professor swishes his arms around to encompass the wickedness of the world.
‘All the hatred, the brutality, all the pain, all the torture, all the death and ugliness and all the suffering. Created by this good God is all over the world isn’t it young man?’
[No answer]
‘Don’t you see it everywhere? Huh?' Pause. ‘Don’t you?’ The professor leans into the student’s face again and whispers ‘Is God good?’
[No answer]
‘Do you believe in God son?’
The students voice betrays him and cracks.
‘Yes professor, I do’
The old man shakes his head sadly. ‘Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen God?’
‘No sir’
‘Then tell us if you have ever heard your God’
‘No sir, I have not’
‘Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God or smelt your God? In fact, do you have any sensory perception of your God whatsoever?
[No answer]
‘Answer me please’
‘No sir, I’m afraid I haven’t’
‘You’re AFRAID you haven’t?’
‘No sir’
‘Yet you still believe in him?’
‘…Yes…’
‘That takes faith!’ the professor smiles sagely at the underling. ‘According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn’t exist. What do you say to that son?’
[No answer]
‘Sit down please.'
The Muslims sits defeated.......


Another Muslim raises his hand' Professor, may I address the class?'


The professor turns and smiles
‘Ah, another Muslim in the vanguard! Come, come young man. Speak some proper wisdom to the gathering’
The Muslim looks around the room
‘Some interesting points you are making sir. Now I’ve got a question for you. Is there such a thing as heat?’
‘Yes’ The professor replies. ‘There is heat’
‘Is there such a thing as cold?’
‘Yes son there’s cold too’
‘No sir, there is not’
The professors grin freezes. The room suddenly goes very cold. The second Muslim continues.
‘You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super heat, mega heat, white heat or no heat but we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we cant go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold, otherwise we would be able to go colder than 458 - - You see sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat sir, just the absence of it’
Silence, a pin drops somewhere in the classroom.
‘Is there such a thing as darkness, professor?
‘That’s a dumb question son, what is night if it isint darkness? What are you getting at?’
‘So you are saying there is such a thing as darkness?’
‘Yes’
‘You’re wrong again sir, darkness is not something, it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and its called darkness, isint it? That’s the meaning we use to define the word. In reality darkness isint. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker and give me a jar of it. Can you give me a jar of darker darkness professor?’
Despite himself, the professor smiles at the young effrontery before him. This will indeed be a good semester.
‘Would you mind telling me what your point is young man?’
‘Yes professor. My point is that your philosophical premise is flawed to start with and so your conclusion must be in error…..’
The professor goes toxic. ‘Flawed ? ? how dare you…!’
‘Sir may I explain what I mean?’
The class is all ears.
‘Explain, oh explain!’ The professor makes an admirable effort to regain control. Suddenly he is affability itself, he continues to wave his hand to silence the class for the student to continue.
‘You are working on the premise of duality’ The Muslim explains ‘that for example there is life and there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God a something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science cannot even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism but has never seen or much less fully understood them. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, merely the absence of it.’
The young man holds up a newspaper he takes from the desk of a neighbour who has been reading it.
‘Here is one of our most disgusting tabloids this country hosts professor. Is there such a thing as immortality?’
‘Ofcourse there is, now look…’
‘Wrong again sir. You see immortality is merely the absence of mortality. Is there such a thing as injustice? No, injustice is the absence of justice. Is there such a thing as evil? The Muslim pauses. ‘isint evil merely the absence of good?’
The professors face has turned an alarming colour. He is so angry he is temporarily speechless.
The Muslim continues. ‘If there is evil in the world professor, and we all agree there is, then God if he exists must be accomplishing work through the agency of evil. What is that work God accomplishing? Islam tells us to see if each one of us will choose good or evil’The professor bridles. ‘As a philosophical scientist, I don’t view this matter as having anything to do with any choice, as a realist I absolutely do not recognise the concept of God or any other theological factor as being part of the world because God is not observable’
'I would have thought that the absence of God's moral code in this world is probably one of the most observable phenomena going' The Muslim replies. 'Newspapers make billions of dollars reporting it every week! Tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from monkey?'
'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes of course I do.'
'Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?'
The professor makes a sucking sound with his teeth and gives his student a silent, stony stare.
'Professor. Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is as an ongoing endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a priest?'
'I will overlook your impudence in the light of our philosophical discussion. Now, have you quite finished?’ The professor hisses.
'So you don’t accept God's moral code to do what is righteous?'
'I believe in what is -that’s science!'
'Ahh! SCIENCE!' the students face splits into a grin.
'Sir, you rightly state that science is the study of observed phenomena. Science too is a premise which is flawed...'
'SCIENCE IS FLAWED..?' the professor splutters. The class is in uproar. The Muslim remains standing until the commotion has subsided.
'To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, may I give you an example of what I mean?'
The professor wisely keeps silent. The Muslim looks around the room. 'Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen air, oxygen, molecules, atoms, the professor brain?'
The class breaks out in laughter. The Muslim points towards his elderly, crumbling tutor.
'Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain...felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professors brain?'
No one appears to have done so. The Muslim shakes his head sadly.
'It appears that no one here has had any sensory perception of the professors brain whatsoever. Well, according to the rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol science, I DECLARE that the professor has no brain'
The professors face turned an alarming white and his legs seemed to give way as he slumped back in his seat...for he was beaten at his own game...the class is in awe at what just unfolded before their very eyes.